You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
