last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
