oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
