i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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