One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
