Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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