he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
