Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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