The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
