what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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