I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
