Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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