I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
