I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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