Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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