apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
