Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
