i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
