He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
