You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize