i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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