arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
