doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
