You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish i was in the wii world.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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