And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
