OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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