Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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