Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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