We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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