And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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