you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
