Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
