He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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