I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Congratulations! We have a period
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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