the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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