I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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