I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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