It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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