you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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