Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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