Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
