it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
