Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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