last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
