its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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