I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
