My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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