So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
