Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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