I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
