lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
