Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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