i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize