i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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