Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
