Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
